Just Think About It

High end cars, money, naked girls, drunk guys, intentional  PDA post, the #goals photo…

My brain is about to hit the snooze button as I lie in bed. All comfy and cozy in my sheets, with the fan on to create a cooler environment. But wait! I need to scroll through Instagram… because it’s out of habitual habit. Catch my drift?

As I am scrolling through the popular page on Instagram, that’s all I see. High end cars while awkwardly sitting in the front seat looking “wealthy AF.. right? That’s how you use AF, or that’s why the kids are saying these days.

Any who… Stacks on stacks because it’s payday so of course you need to brag. Naked girls, well girls in bikinis that shouldn’t even pass as fabric, drunk guys on spring break making regretful decisions, straddling couple because it’s cute and they’re “in love” and oh yeah below in the comments everyone says #goals.

As Jesus says, for what our heart breaks over, His breaks more.

I look at these photos, these provocative, sexual, soft porn, selfish, me me me, boasting, shallow photos of what people live and become so jealous for, my heart breaks! In other words, #goals.


I am serious when I say it. My heart breaks so much for this world. For where we are at, emotionally, spiturually and mentally. We have become such shallow, selfish humans and it completely and utterly breaks me.

This life is hell on earth for some and I couldn’t agree more. We rely so much on how many likes we get on a photo, I know you’ve heard this before but it’s true!! We rely so much on how to get the perfect angle, light, whatever it is. IT’S SHALLOW. We need to create this “look at me” lifestyle and it’s so sad. It’s sad that this is what majority of us worry about on a day to day basis. When there are actual life threatening issues going on in this world. And by world, I mean outside of the United States.

We have it SO well, almost too well because each day I bet some of us take it totally for granted, since it’s almost as if we deserve it because we live in such a country of high accessibility and opporunity.

Personally, it’s hard to do life sometimes because of the people I run into, see across at the coffee shop or just overhear while taking my daily walks. It just blows my mind of the problems that people worry over. I am not saying your problems are less than, at all. I am just simply saying, instead of sweating the materialistic stuff that will only benefit you and you only, may sweat over the massive stuff that can effect, your future, and your children’s future, yah? The time is now to figure out how the future will end up and I cannot imagine how much more selfish someone can get and how much more powerful the internet will be.

Stop getting angry at the government or the president for how shitty the world is… we the people of this country have free will. We have choices and if it’s going to be selfish from here on out, then… we are done for. However, if we decide to sweat over something that can effect your tomorrow, maybe some hearts will start to change and materialistic things will just become things. Maybe then, they will not have such a massive control on our daily lives anymore.

Get over the comparison game. Does that help you in any way? Does that benefit you in any way?

I am going to guess no and no.

SO WHY KEEP IT UP? Because that’s what the world says to do. Obsess over celebrities that are JUST LIKE US, they just so happen to have access to show off their talent in more ways than others. Or how about going crazy over what life that person has and how yours sucks. You have a roof? You have a food? You have clothes? You have clean water for showering and doing the dishes? You are living like a king or queen my friend!

I can imagine just a wee bit of what could happen if we put all the energy that we do through obsessing over social media and having the best of whatever or getting famous, into something that truly matters.

Politics, helping the hungry, going overseas and helping at orphanges or people you may know that are the less fortunate. How about including that person who is always left out or even putting down that phone and actually conversing with that person whom you asked to hang out with. Allowing common sense to become common sense, again. Just think where our world would be? I am not saying world peace but I am saying we could be more on the positive scale rather than the negative, envious, selfish, entitiled scale.

Just think about it.



Can’t sleep.

I yearn so bad for what’s ahead. I want what I want to happen right now. I need that instant gratification that this world can give. I want my dreams to happen at this moment because I just do. Now, this second. Wait what am I thinking about? Take a chill for a second.

All in God’s timing my Beloved. 

I literally cannot contain my excitement for what’s ahead in 6 months. Whether that be plan A or B, as long as it’s Jesus’ plan I’m keen. Easier said then done. It’s so hard to not want it to rush, or happen faster because we usually are use to having instant gratification in this world, but a great reminder is that the Lord is not of this world. As much as I hardly have any patience, the Lord is teaching me this season all about patience, ironic hey? Each season of life can bring new learning experiences. However, I may not agree with what I’m learning, I know that what’s happening now will effect my future good or bad.

But wait… what if..

I’ve learned over the course of this past year to let go of the what if’s or the but’s because those both stand for ROADBLOCK. Trusting in the Lord with all my heart and not leaning on my own understanding is exactly what I need to these next months and as much as it’s going to suck and does suck, again, He knows what’s best because He is my Heavenly Father. He is the creator. He is the Omni-present and He is Yahweh. That itself should give me peace knowing someone has my future in their hands. I don’t need to worry for tomorrow because tomorrow has it’s own worries for itself. I also don’t need to worry because I have a loving Father who has my future already planned out, it’s whether or not I make the obedient choice to glorify His kingdom and not my own doings.

Speak truth and just rest. 

As much as the truth may hurt, annoy, or encourage, the truth is truth. Knowing the truth is one thing but believing that truth is another. Resting on the fact of knowing and believing in the truth is just a reward itself. It provides abundant life throughout this sin-filled crap hole we call earth or life. It provides anxiety-free moments and peace when you just rest on truth, you can do life without fear and just enjoy the present moment that you’re so wishing to go by faster because you want those 6 months to be over with.

In time my Beloved, seek first His kingdom and all will be given. Not your will but His be done. 

As I try to type more of what brain is pouring out, as per usual during this certain time. I’m at a stump so I will have to call it a night. Despite not having a conclusion, it’s a good start to a journey that is just the beginning.

Goodnight xx


10 months. I have reached 10 long, beautiful, stressful, abundant, heartache months. I cannot believe it’s been this long since I’ve made this move down unda; fun fact Aussies don’t actually pronounce their “r” so it actually sounds better when you don’t pronounce the r after under, just saying. Any who…

Tribulations, struggles, tears, heartache, physical, spiritual, mental and emotional exhaustion has been very prevalent on this trip. I feel like I’ve experienced a lot of whom people may think negative outlook or have been complaining but actually I’ve endured all of it and I am thankful for all the struggles I’ve been through. They have formed me into such a strong and independent woman and for that I cherish these hard times because if I didn’t, I would have left long ago and it would have been hell. Yes, it was almost unbearable at times but calling in the name of Jesus when you’re at such a weakness has so much power. Resting in Jesus name and just speaking truth over yourself when you’re at an all time low somehow some way brings you out of that trouble, it brings out of that fear or that anxiety. Even if you think screaming to air is crazy, we’ve all been there but He can hear you, I promise you that.

I recently re-committed my life to Christ back in late October. I, then, decided to get baptized again too. That moment for me was a moment of really living for a second; I was making a life or death decision, literally. I chose life that day, I chose to walk the narrow path, and I chose to live by faith and grace and the truth standards, not the worlds. Even if that means walking alone, I want to experience true love, mercy and grace on this side of Heaven because we all long to experience something deeper than what us humans can provide, right? I’m learning that is possible to experience that with Jesus being the love of your life, being your Sovereign God, Savior, Provider, Heavenly Father or Kenegdo.

Grace, we are given it every breathe we take and every day we are given. We cannot do life without grace or mercy. What I am continuing to remind myself every day is that just because I am a daughter of Jesus Christ or even was baptized does not mean I am perfect, does not mean I can live a perfect life, does not mean I can sin and nothing will happen to me, it simply means what I said; I am a daughter of Christ, who is following a perfect Savior. I am still broken, still bruised, still struggling, still sinning, still making mistakes but with the unconditional Grace and Mercy that Jesus provides daily for me, I can live this life abundantly and know that the Cross is enough for me. Jesus dying on that cross, breaking his body, shedding his blood, IS enough for me. This is the most beautiful, selfless perfect act anyone could EVER do. Beautiful is an understatement but with my comprehension for that audacious sacrifice, it’s the only word I know to describe it.

I am learning to be holy, not to be a goody-goody and follow every rule right and if I don’t I’m going to hell, no that’s silly. I am setting myself apart from the world and following what the truth is. I am walking that narrow path to glorify Jesus with my life and everything that is in it. If I fail, that’s ok. It’s ok to make mistakes, it’s ok to not be perfect, we can’t be perfect. We cannot achieve that on this side of Heaven because we have sin living, lurking around every crack and crevice of this earth, unfortunately.

Recently I have noticed I’ve made choices that I would not ever usually make, but for some odd reason, that taste of sin just got me going. It always starts out small and then you think, “oh well it’s not that big, God will forgive you, just do it, get it over with, no big deal.” Yes, hear me out, the Lord does and will forgive EVER sin you commit, however it also does come down to what is behind that sin, where is your heart in this decision and then realizing the choice being good or bad comes with asking for forgiveness/repenting. When you decided to make that decision of wanting to live your life for Jesus and want to walk that narrow path without a doubt, your mind set will start to change into wanting to glorify Jesus in everything you do. It’s hard to explain such a beautiful act, especially if you are very stubborn and do not want to change your ways, guilty but in order to want to understand it, it needs to be experienced first hand! Jesus can and will break those chains; break those habits IF you allow Him, He can also change your heart, restore that Joy of your salvation (Psalms 51:12), He can renew a new mind and spirit (Pslam 51:10), all you need to do is ask. Being in relationship with someone you can’t just expect him or her to know what you want, or to know everything about you. Yes, God does know everything about us and even the numbers of hairs on our head (how beautiful) but to be in relation with someone you should ask questions to flourish that relationship, if you don’t ask questions or talk about yourself to that other person, how are they suppose to know you?

Thankfulness. I am beyond thankful for this life I have been given, this trip I am able to go on and the opportunities that have presented themselves. It may be odd to be thankful for the struggles, the hardships, the abuse, the pain but from my perspective, it grows you in character, builds you into a stronger, more independent person, makes you view life with the glass half full, not empty. I am not happy or excited for what I have endured; there is a difference in being happy and being thankful. I hate that I went through this, if I could have done it another way though, I wouldn’t because you can’t do anything about “what if’s”, it is right now and how am I going to get through this. My answer to this tough yet beautiful life is Jesus. He is and will always be my final answer. I don’t know how I did life before or how I was even living before I wanted to live my life for Him. Ever since I made this decision, I feel more alive than ever, I feel I have purpose, I am content with who I am, where I am at and what I am doing. Despite my circumstances and not being where I want to be, I am ok with that. It does not mean I am a failure or I’m not going anywhere I am going somewhere because I am not where I was 10 months ago. It’s funny because I think about this a lot, if you would have asked me where I think I would be right now, I would have said somewhere on the East Coast, funny how life can through curve balls at you but it can be the most unplanned, beautifully inconvenient curve ball. To everything I have to say: Jesus, get to know Him, even if you have before, give Him another chance, He gives you another breathe of life, He provides daily for you without you even knowing, He died on that cross, shed His blood and broke His body for you to be where you are right now in this present moment. I say all this because we each have struggled some point in our lives or are struggling right now. Jesus is the answer to your problem. He might not physically, emotionally or spiritually get you out of that struggle because its all apart of your testimony however, it is just trusting Him with all your heart and not leaning on your own understanding, (Proverbs 3:5).Trust, trust, trust. Even if is the toughest thing you have ever had to do or cannot even do, just try try try. Who knows what may happen if you do, your life could turn around or stay the same but either way it trusting in Jesus is so utterly, categorically, glorifying.



Rainstorm = Rainbow

I am now at my 9-month mark of being on my travels. I have to say, I did not think I would see as much as I have. God has really blessed me on this trip and I will be forever thankful. With blessings has to come sufferings unfortunately it’s just the cause and effect of living in a broken world. Jesus said that with every suffering will always be a blessing in the end. Just how He said He will never flood the earth again, He always brings a rainbow after every single rainstorm. Praise God!

That is a metaphor for what I am going to be talking about. This trip may have had some gorgeous views and some beautiful memories but with all this beauty you have seen me capture; pain, sickness and illness has followed or lead to those beautiful sunsets and rainbows.

I recently just was baptized again into God’s kingdom. The enemy IS very real and is out to seek kill and destroy. Being baptized is such a beautiful and glorious, selfless moment. Following Jesus though isn’t all glorious and selfless. Yes, I am going to struggle I am going to fail and be stripped down from who I thought I was to who God thinks I am. I have never suffered as much as I did in these past weeks. My physical health was at an all time low; it was one thing after another. I never knew someone could experience so much pain. I felt like Job (he’s a man in the bible who was stripped and had everything taken from him, good book, read it) I thought I experienced pain before, but this was unreal. No one can understand the pain and suffering I went through these past weeks, accept one person. Jesus.

Whatever we go through, He goes through as well. He already knows what is going to happen and how. It sucked, I hated it, I wanted it to end, and literally I wanted to die the pain was that bad. The enemy was sure having a hay day because it was only getting worse and I was only focusing on the pain and nothing else. From the get go, the Holy Spirit was compelling me to praise. Through the highs, lows, good or bad, praise God. It was weird because I’m thinking praise you God? Why, I’m in pain can’t you see God? I could barely talk, breathe, see or focus and you want me to praise you? The enemy can strip me from my health, but he CANNOT strip me from my faith. Quiet praising is still praising. My health eventually dropped even more. I thought I was going to die, not exaggerating at all and since that was the case for me I decided to praise Jesus even that much more because if I were to die during that time, I wanted to die knowing I was praising my Heavenly Father, not complaining about the pain and what was wrong.

After constant prayer, and praise I had a revelation in the middle of this storm that even though I am suffering and may be going through some tough stuff, there will 100% be a blessing out of this. I don’t know how, when, where or why but this pain is preparing me for my next season and will only bring God and His kingdom glory. I didn’t really think worshiping and praying could actually work on something like this but it brought a lot of peace, it brought a new perspective, it brought me closer to Jesus and for that I am grateful for the pain and tribulation I had to endure. I am grateful for Jesus allowing this pain to happen and to trust me with this pain to hang on tight to Him and not turn away or say “ God why are you doing this to me, you’re a good God, why?” He is a good God He is a MAGNIFICENT God. He also likes to give us wake up calls in our life to have us realize that our faith needs to be solid; it needs to be grounded in something so sturdy that not even the devil can strip that from us when bad things spring up. Tribulations will either make turn to Jesus or away. Don’t give into temptation, do not give into what the devil tricks you with, it’s. a. trick. Nothing good happens after the enemy wins but with Jesus glory will reign and glory will come. Death, pain, suffering, isolation, it is all for the glory of His kingdom, amen! Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding, Proverbs 3:5, that verse was a light through my sufferings.

Australia is beautiful and has been a lot of fun; however don’t let a few photos say otherwise, pain and suffering has occurred but I am alive, I am healthy now and I still love Jesus! Praise God for getting me through these past weeks and providing me hope, You’re good all the time and all the time you’re good.