Time flies when you’re having fun. As I am sitting here, embarking on my last couple of travels I have so many emotions I don’t even know how I’m really feeling about all this. If you asked me a year ago, never would I have said “oh yeah, going to Australia”. No, I would’ve said, I’m too comfortable to move anywhere. (as majority of us are)
It’s funny to think I had all these plans set, a five-year plan ahead of me and I know what’s going to happen and how it’s going to play out. Well once you decide that you want to obey the Lord and walk that narrow road, you never know what is ahead for you. You can plan all you want but I’m going to be honest, it won’t happen, the way you want. Your desires and wants will happen because that’s a promise from God but… in His timing and His way.
Never did I think I would be able to see as much of Australia as I have because of my job. I knew I would see maybe a few places but not all what I’ve seen. It’s hard because in ways I don’t get why I am able to have this. I don’t get why I get to do what I’ve been hoping I could do. Why do I deserve to see all what I have seen? Why? WHY? It’s been a HUGE learning experiencing of really going to the roots and starting from the beginning. I never thought I would have this type of mindset, I never thought I would be in this position the way I am and I never knew I would want to grow so much deeper in my faith until this revelation of a trip.
Recently, I have been in a long season of learning about trust. Trust that the Lord is really in control; trust that everything will work out, for His glory. Trust that whatever may happen it IS and ALWAYS will be for His glory good or bad. Trust trust trust trust. It’s so much easier said than done. With trust though, I am learning that Grace plays a big part in that word as well and act. For example:
Why am I able to travel to the places I’d like to go even though I can be selfish, inconsiderate and stubborn? The only answer I believe to be true is: Jesus loves me unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT. We live in a conditional world and when someone does something bad, they get their reward or that thing not given because that person did not like how they treated them, etc. I serve a categorically beautiful God who will never hang that carrot in my face then snatch it away. Despite my failures, my behavior, my attitude, my selfishness, my stubbornness, He wants to still reward me, He still wants to give me my desires because He nailed that crap to the cross and washed it all away with His blood. How cool is that? How incredible to know that there is ACTUALLY someone like that?
After seven months of a lot of alone time and really seeing a small piece of what life is, I want everyone to experience Him, I need everyone to know the Love that they ACTUALLY deserve, I need them to know the Grace they ACTUALLY deserve. I understand it’s very hard to comprehend those attributes about someone because we hardly ever see that in this world but again and again, I am going to continue to say and preach that you walk by FAITH not by sight. Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. You will have tough days of not wanting too but that is what Grace is. No matter what or how long you’ve been away from God, He’s still there and will provide for you.
Proverbs 3:5 has been with me since the beginning of my trip and it’s constantly repeating in my head because it’s TRUTH. I’ve gone through SO much crap during this trip, so many trials and tribulations, and I’ve never had to do so much independently on my own. With this independence comes either walking a wide path of selfish hard times or a very narrow path with hard times but with obedience. Let me remind you, no matter the path you decide to take, YOU WILL NEVER BE ALONE. I’m learning that and still trying to understand that no matter the decision right or wrong, the Lord is right next to me waiting for me to ask for help. No more excuses of I’m too (fill in the blank). I am the queen of excuses and I am here to say I am and YOU ARE, GOOD ENOUGH FOR JESUS forget your past, present and future sins, He already has. He will remember your sins no more. Stop making up excuses. Matthew 11:28 COME AS YOU ARE TO HIM, scratched, bruised, broken, addicted, hurt, sad, happy, comfortable whatever it may be; COME AS YOU ARE. He is the healer of ALL sins and will give you nothing but unconditional GRACE. It’s starts with trust; He’s waiting for you to make that move. Are you ready?