Life’s going good for a while but then, you can’t catch a break. It is just one thing after another and you feel like you’re dropping on a roller coaster while going a thousand miles. You can’t think, you’re stressing. You have no idea why everything is happening the way it is. You want it stop, right now. You can’t take anymore and you feel like your brain is going to explode. This happened to this past weekend. It has to be one of the worst weekends I’ve had since being here. The struggle is real my friends. The enemy is out to seek kill and destroy.
After all this mumbo jumbo happened this weekend, would you like to know my first thought was… Why God? Why are you doing this to me? Why is this happening? I can’t take this. Ok more like plural; thoughts but seriously. I’ve had a very long day today and as I am writing this without preparation, I am offended by my attitude. Why must we always blame the Lord when things get tough? He is not of evil. He is not of pain or hurt, so why is it always His fault? God is love, He is gracious, He is not of evil, HE IS GOOD. So why why why why why why why do we always point the finger at Him first? Or in my case, why do I always seem to be doing that? Why don’t we ever blame the enemy or someone else for that matter?
In this situation, I brought it upon myself, yet I can’t take responsibility and decide to blame the man who sacrificed Himself on the cross for me because He loves me that much, period. It all comes down to responsibility, learn to take it and not always point the finger. Understand that if this situations happen, try to look at from an outside perspective. Yes, you’re mind or my mind for that matter was flying at lightning speed it felt, breathing is the one thing to do during those moments. Because when that happens, that’s when the enemy comes in and distracts you, feeds you lies and you believe them because you’re in panic mode. I want this to stop now though. Overall I had a pretty tough weekend and now with having time to think about my actions and what I didn’t do, I realized that much more how important scripture is and having verses memorized for moments like these. The word of God is the most important tool to have. Ephesians 17 says: “ and take up the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the spirit which is the word of God.” Taking up our cross daily isn’t just something to do whenever we want, it needs to be daily because the enemy does not stop. This battle is not against flesh and blood but against any evil spirit that’s prowling in this world.
I have a dilemma though, I struggle so much with memorization. However, if you really want something to happen, you’re the only person that can make it happen. If your brain doesn’t work in that area, I learned that writing scripture down is helpful. I use to do this, but I need to get back into it. I keep pieces of papers in my purse, my wallet, on my bedside table; anywhere I think I need it. It’s helpful for times like this because I will always repeat this; the enemy never sleeps. This verse just came to my mind and it’s nothing but complete truth. “Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go!”- Joshua 1:9
We all struggle and will continue too since we live in this temporary broken world but scripture is a constant reminder to allow us to overcome trials and tribulations with the sovereign Lord walking beside us at all times. How peaceful is that? My heart is so happy at the moment, slowly and surely I am overcoming this struggle. One day at a time.