I am pleading guilty for this act and I am sure that I am not alone in this either. I always use to think to myself about what I want in a husband, I want tall, dark and handsome and the list goes on and on. It’s so funny because after long nights of reading and re-reading what I have wrote down, I noticed I used I want a bit too excessively. As followers of Christ, we are called to be selfless, not selfish and I want is most definitely selfish.
Yes, there is a time and place to say that but when it comes to finding a significant other or spouse… it should be, what do they need from me.
Do not get me wrong, we are absolutely allowed to have desires and dreams about our future spouses and we are also called to ask Jesus for them, because if you don’t ask you don’t receive. He already knows what they are but he wants you to ask out of willingness and to seek him for it as well, Matthew 7:7.
As I pursue my relationship with the Lord more, it has come to my attention more to pray for my future husband and pray about what work needs to be done so I can be the wife he will want and or need one day. The men are the leaders and the women are the supporters, we are called to edify, build up and support our strong hard working men. They need encouragement just as much as we do, if not more. If I don’t start working on my heart now, how will I ever be ready for marriage one day? If I am selfish now and only become more selfish over time, how will I have a healthy relationship? Again, there is a time and place for selfishness, however, if we are called to serve others; specifically talking husbands, being selfish is the last act we want to pursue.
Ladies, start working on your heart now, single, in a relationship, engaged or even married, it’s never too late because God provides unconditional Grace and is ready whenever you are. All you need is a willing heart and he can do wonders to mend that broken marriage, relationship or single heart.
Have you ever thought about hmm, I wonder what my future husband may want in a wife? Well now is the time to talk with God about it. Work through those trusts issues you may have or insecurities, because going into a marriage without shedding light onto those areas, will cause conflict and unexpected drama.
Sitting wishing waiting around to see if a man is able to reach that list is a silly because if you can’t check off any marks on that list, how is someone suppose to reach those expectations, when you cannot do it yourself? I am sure that men and women have some what similar qualities for future spouses, so before going all hyper active and wanting something, make sure you humbly say, I can provide love, joy, happiness, encouragement, stability, etc.
One more thing, I know majority of us want that tall dark and handsome man but when it really comes down to it, beauty is only skin deep and if there is nothing behind that beauty then you are in a whirl wind for hurt. When the man you are pursuing has a heart filled for Jesus, that will just make him that more handsome and will confiscate any “look” attributes. Just remember when you are 80 and wrinkly; would you rather have a real love conversation or a nothing at all?