It seems when it’s good, it’s really good, and then when it’s bad it’s really bad. I myself do not exactly experience anything without being full throttle. Awesome, right? This past month has been a whirlwind of bad. It started with; being bit by a spider, shattering the iPhone I am using from the family right now, to a very expensive speeding ticket, another spider bite, going over my phone bill by a couple hundred dollars, (the phone plans here are very different from the states), having a 2am emergency trip to the hospital from being bit by a poisonous spider and having a total of 6 hours of sleep in the past 4 days, I am beyond exhausted. Just wait, it gets better though; I had the cherry on top happen the other day. I was parking in these tight parking spots that they have at the grocery store, and scrapped the side door of the car on a cement pole. Reminder, I have only been here for a good 2 months and I have 9 months left, this past weekend after my car incident I had a moment of weakness. I wanted to just get up and leave, run away and just flee from all this crap. I was in need of one of my sister’s warm hugs. I needed comfort and just some sort of physical touch from a loved one.
Life has been extremely tough lately; I have had so many first’s here. I am usually a very responsible person, especially when it comes to other’s property. Apparently not right now, I feel like a failure and that anything or anyone is out to get me, I am weak and just exhausted. I have been crying out to the Lord. I am so confused as to why everything is just horrible right now. I try not to say it’s the enemy because giving him credit where he doesn’t deserve it, fuels that fire and just creates a much bigger mess than there needs to be. So, I have been in constant prayer and questioning. Why? Why am I so clumsy lately? Why do I keep getting bit? Why is it one thing after another? I am exhausted, can this please just stop? After having a long 4 day weekend to myself, and long Skype sessions with my beautiful mother, I was able to think about a lot. God has not left me once; He has been protecting me throughout this whole trip, especially with my bites. If you have not heard, Australia is known for their dangerous and deathly animals. I have been bit 3 times by 3 different spiders, the last one was poisonous but somehow it wasn’t to the point where I needed medication, nor did I die. Thank God, am I right? I could have also been in a horrible accident instead of scrapping the paint off the door. It’s always good to try to brighten the situation up instead of sitting in your own sulk and speaking lies to yourself.
God’s timing is PERFECT. This weekend and past month could have not happened at a better time. Granite, all these annoying events and problems have been relevant in my life, this weekend is about Jesus and what He did for the world and for myself. He died on that cross for us, with that he cleaned the slate white as snow and took upon all our burdens because He loves us that much. I came to conclusion after communion this weekend that I believe it is an appropriate time to nail all my crap on the cross, just as Jesus did, taking our sins.
Since moving here, my faith has been in growing so much but I feel I can’t be experiencing these problems because I am not strong enough nor is my faith. God definitely thinks other wise because He promised He would not give us anything that we could not handle. (1 Corinthians 10:13) I have always had a hard time believing in myself and really giving myself credit. With these past gloomy days I have had, I think it’s the perfect time to start believing in His strength and in mine.
I most positive I am not the only who experinces bad weeks or it seems nothing is going right. With that, try and shed light on the situation. Be optimistic and realize it could have been worse and always be in thanks with God. Even though it is so incredibly tough to see why this is all happening, you are learning a lesson, whatever the situation maybe good or bad, you are ALWAYS learning. Remember Jesus died for your sins and hurt so when you are in pain and hurting, pray that the Jesus will just take that hurt from you and release it to the cross. However once you do that, be patient with a result, it might not happen for another day, week, month or year. Please do not think God has abandoned you because He NEVER will do such thing, God’s silence does not mean He is absent. That’s where faith comes in, to have faith, trust and believe He will come through in His timing because His timing is perfect. Jesus is the reason for the season and HE IS RISEN!! Even though life has been tough since being in this beautiful country, God still is with me and He has a plan for me. Trust. Believe. Faith. You are a child of God and are loved so dearly, rejoice in this special easter weekend, its not about he outfit, the food, the easter bunny, chocolate or food, its about the blood and body that Jesus shed for us because He wanted to overtake sin and His heart is that big. If it was not for that selfless choice, I doubt we would be here.
THANK YOU JESUS.
Here’s a great song for what He did for us, Everyday ft. Hillsong: